Recently, I did something I’ve secretly been wanting for a long time. You see, I’ve idolised women who have the strength and courage to be and do whatever they choose. These women are fearless. Or at least, they appear to be.
These women reveal the layers and face the world head on, no filter required. These women don’t hide behind their materialistic styling. They treat themselves like the goddesses they are. They know their self worth. Devoid of malice and full of compassion.
Big shoes, huh?
That’s what I’ve been thinking. But in reality, we each hold the power to make any conscious choice or decision for the betterment of ourselves. Therefore, the onus is on us and the fall back of finger-pointing and laying blame no longer exists once this realisation sinks in.
Heavy, huh? Imagine the possibilities?
So, reeling it in, I feel as though I’ve achieved a lot of personal growth in the last year or so. And I want that to continue. I had come to the realisation that today was the day. Today I was going to ask my hairdresser to help me achieve a look. A look that I have been umming and ahhing over for that long it’s not funny. So I googled and pinterested my heart out, looking for all the inspiration I would need. Or rather, for my ever-patient and always-understanding hairdresser (Thanks Mags!)
I’ve always wanted this particular look, my close friends can attest to this.
And I’ve never had the confidence to ask for it, let alone the audacity to think that I could actually carry it off. I, like a lot of women I’m sure, have been riddled with self doubt over my appearance for as long as I can remember. I’ve just accepted it.
I liken it to how I felt when that person said that one thing so many days/months/years ago. That feeling has slowly intertwined with my own stream of conscious and somewhere along the way the two have banded together. My own perception and theirs – however distanced they may have originally been.
Why is it that we tend to take on the negative critique and completely overlook the positive? Why is that our pre-disposition? Whatever it is, I know no-one is unaffected by these – I mean, there are memes about this stuff now! Which at least give us an outlet to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all and to re-set yourself so the wounds of the past can no longer breed in the hope garden you’re planting for your future.
So this ‘look’ I keep referring to is quite simple. It’s short. And it’s blonde.
In all honesty, it’s not like I had long hair by any stretch of the imagination. And this may seem like a whole lot of fuss and kaffuffel over a simple hairstyle, but to me, it’s what this hairstyle represents.
Perhaps I haven’t been ready to step into my authentic self until now. Perhaps this is the first of many steps. All I know is, I no longer have the fear I’m too ‘anything’ to do this. I won’t hide behind “I don’t have the right face shape” or the dreaded “I don’t have the right body type” (I loathe that I have even put that to paper, but in the realms of honesty, that’s as pure as it gets). I have reconciled with myself that in order to have a certain hairstyle, I thought you had to look a certain way. Which is complete BS now, I know. I don’t know how or why or when, but my perception seems to have shifted. Or maybe I just matured. With the wisdom that can only come with age and life and decisions and adulting or just complete naivety and a stubbornness only fellow Taureans may understand.
Haircut or otherwise, my boldness has surprised even myself and that’s a pretty cool thing to do. I may walk a little taller and be a little blonder but inside my confidence has soared. Plus it’s one less thing to cross off my bucket list..
Now, about that skydive….